This one's for Pritz who'd understand, and Kriths who'd empathize the most :>
Everyone loves a cheerful soul. Or do we? Some people are day-happy, others blossom at night. Some are habitually cheerful, others periodically. Some generally sullen, are given to emitting unexpected guffaws, scaring the daylights out of everyone in the vicinity. But nothing beats the compulsively cheerful soul. He (for purposes of convenience) will greet you at all times with a 42 teeth smile and bubbling excitement accompanied by unreasonable laughter. For example, a casual meeting would run like this-
You: Hi!
X: Hi!!! HOW was your day?!!
You: Um. Actually, not so good..my expmt crashed..
X: THAT’s ok!! I’m 100, no no, 120% sure it’ll work tomorrow!!
You: (How? Are you going to tell off the contaminant fungi?)
X: (continuing) And anyway if it doesn’t, just give up PhD!! Thats all!! Ha ha ha!
Sigh. If not for the constraints imposed by civilization.
Or even-
You: Hello..
X: What happened? Why are you looking so sad? Why are you walking alone??
You: I’m not in the least sad! Just looking forward to a quiet cup of tea..
X: Alone?
You : Well, I have a book..
X: Book? Very bad. And yesterday I saw you laughing so much??
No comment.
Unfortunately compulsive exuberance can be overpowering, even numbing. All neuronal connections jam while you suffer..actually boil..in silence. Request to all well meaning hideously cheerful cheer-uppers- the last thing the dejected researcher (already fed up with the re- search angle :>) needs is an over happy 120 dB response. We know you mean well. And much grateful. Really. But would appreciate it much more at lower volume and with less close range enthuon emission. Not only does it make the person feel worse, it generates homicidal tendencies..
From the sufferer’s point of view, the trick is to avoid talk. X is generally bursting to inform you WHAT a perfect world this is, but so long as you circumvent the vocal cord output, you can take the visual effects. With time..
Not that you should seek out partners in dejection (so to speak!), but its either hurry past X or book that room in Central jail. And they don’t even have a Friday movie..
4 comments:
Hey Laas, that's beautifully written! I can totally understand the "numbing" part! one's left wondering as to HOW to respond at any specific time. The unpredictability is SO high that it leaves you more confused than unwilling about talking!
Do you have a guide who shows too much enthusiasm for that awful experiment that crashed 10 times out of the 10 times you tried it?
Do you have friends who seem uppity *all* the time?
Do excessively happy strangers accost you on the lonely highway of a depressing PhD?
Protect yourself with the new and improved EnthuonBegone-500!
"All the above mentioned beings emit enthuons in such high intensities, that it may be injurious to your PhD health and sanity. EB-500 is the best the medical world can offer as defence against these creatures", says Dr. Bubbly Sharma, who is a leading expert on over-enthu organisms.
For protection against excessive enthuon emission, we urge all students to apply a generous coating of the non-toxic, non-odorous EB-500.
Don't leave your room without it, NEVER enter your lab without it.
*This is a public safety warning and is to be taken with utmost hilarity.
Jusht a small doubt regarding EB-500. To be equipped with EB-500 and use it on every instance where an enthon emitter is found indicates that EB-500 should be spray (for ease of use on these 'other' creatures), lets say something like Baygon used to kill cockroaches. Now we use Baygon with the utmost confidence that a cockroach (or its collective) will not use it on us due to factors such as size and intelligence.
Now these factors don't hold for these 'other' creatures and EB-500 may backfire on the user.
The common name for EB-500 in tea board is 'Coffee'. With the increase in price to 4.50, the new and improved EB-500 is extremely potent.
P.S. I consumed a cup of EB-500 last on Sunday.
Sigh. And now I even leave comments on my own blog..calls for EB-500, alright :> Lovely idea child!! (note two exclamation marks, emphasizing my case..)
Sathya I'm amazed...coffee is an 'EB'? For you?? I thought its meant to generate enthuons..even at 4.50.
And no, enthuon emitters are entirely unaware of their critical condition, so they couldn't possibly re-fire (backfire?)
Public safety warning is dead right. Fully Automatic EB-500 is a Prof sighting..anywhere, anytime.
Post a Comment